The wounds of the soul that blocks us
Knowing the wounds makes us more compassionate:
The wound of the soul
Is already included in the soul at the time of the conception ( magnetic attraction because we have not yet managed to live in love and acceptance of our previous lives and by which the future parents need to fix through a child like us).
The wound of the soul
Is a keen emotional pain felt during a relationship where one of our essential needs is not satisfied and where we react by accusing ourselves or accusing the other. It’s an emotional chaos felt alone, in isolation where a sense of rejection, abandonment, injustice, humiliation or betrayal has taken root.
Our body is marked by the mask and not by the wound of the soul!
Causes and consequences of the wound of the soul
In our environment, with parents who have the same injury to fix, we attract situations and people who will help us to solve our soul wound.
An unfixed wound of the soul cannot live in acceptance
According to the wounds of the soul, a person can act differently to the same situation.
For example, a wife married to a man who works long supplementary hours can feel rejected in believing that she is not that important, another wife can feel different, she can feel abandoned or betrayed and doesn’t trust that he truly works, there is another example where a wife will find this unjust. The wife that is not affected will feel good despite living the same situation.
The ego refuses to recognize these wounds thus suffering less, that’s why we are creating masks for our survival where its sole utility is to protect us, and then suffering less. It’s not what we are living with that makes us suffer, it’s the reaction that we make in regard of the situation, and this is exactly the consequence of the untreated wounds.
The wounds of the soul that disturb us in others belong to us
Each one of us can recognize itself in all the different wounds at once, it is the Important for the person to trust his body. Because we cannot treat the wounds that we don’t have. However it is unlikely that we have all the wounds at once.
It is easier to fix multiple small wounds than a fixing a big one. A strong wound can make you feel hurt at the simplest of things, and also make you jump faster to conclusions and need to put on its mask more often. While the person who has multiple small wounds can afford to be herself more often, even though she also needs to put on her mask to avoid suffering. When our injury takes over, we are not ourselves.
What is printed in our body and which serves us as protection is a mask.
Our body is constantly changing as we experience different wounds
For example, a rigid person suffering wounds from injustice and humiliation, will feel more humiliated than ever, because he was constantly suffering from this stuff, he is kind of having this weight surplus on his back that keeps him breaking at the slightest feeling of humiliation, even though he is used to encounter this stuff and easily shutting it off. The person could feel ashamed of another person or even herself. And decides to follow a diet. At this moment, it is rigidity that takes over.
The wounds of the soul are activated according to the people with whom we work, with whom we live (body changes according to profession or spouse), our family. The body changes throughout life. The wound that has not been healed leaves us vulnerable, and if we are touched by anyone at this certain wound, we will tend to resent this person and the regret the fact that he took care of it. And then it’s only up to us to take care of it.
In such a situation, we can make the decision to hide our wound, and continue to grow to hide it further.
As we have five of the wounds of the soul at the same time but at different levels, for certain people our body could have for example humiliation at the thighs, abandonment on the upper body and rejection on the wrists.
The wound of abandonment
We are left without a treatment, we didn’t want to treat ourselves, we were left out.
The child, from the moment he was born to the age of 1 year and a half, felt abandoned, deprived of the satisfactions of his physical and affective needs that weren’t provided to him.
Mask: the DEPENDANCE
Long and thin, but mostly lacking in tone; a softness that seems to want to rely on someone, with soft parts like buttocks or breasts. Large, sad, drooping eyes, Body of a victim;, full of diseases to get attention; bulimic body (which never gets enough) but doesn’t grow. While saying, “I eat too much” gives it too much weight, Thus, our way of thinking while we eat determines whether we will gain weight or not.
-Does pirouette for the others to love him
– Cries easily
-Fears of hav ing less
-Attaches to others
-Accuses the others of abandoning him
-Doesn’t see himself giving the others enough, forgets someone else, dropping a work in progress
-Thinks that if he shows himself to be weak, others will help, used to this habit
-Tends to dramatize stuff, uses sex to hold back the other
-Asks for advice but doesn’t follow it
-Prefers to endure than being alone
-Doesn’t know how to say a no
-Loves talking about himself, inexhaustible
-Insists when a his request is refused
-Has a voice of a kid
-Loves contact dances where he gets close to his partner to show the others “Look how he / she love me”
-While sitting he is slouching into his chair with his upper back leaning forward or he is leaning on a table
– loves to be independent and tell whoever wants to hear how good he / she feels alone and that he / she needs no one.
However, people get bored because the person:
-Doesn’t use good means or ways: complains cries or attaches to others. The person is too emotional
-Afraid that we will forget about him if he becomes independent
-Demands a lot while complaining: “Prove me that you love me”
The person feeds her needs each time she abandons a project that is important to her, that she does not take care of herself, that she scares others by clinging to them, and by creating illnesses.
The wound REJECTION:
We were rejected, our presence was refused
Like when parents want to have a girl but instead they are having a boy. Or a couple who didn’t want a baby in the first place.
Accusing others while the soul is choosing one’s parents is what can encourage us to be more compassionate when they adopt a behavior that allows us to heal our wounds.
The activated wound provokes a reaction. For example, a kid who refuses to drink milk.
Mask: The ESCAPE
Small, slim, with leaking or missing parts (no buttocks, no chin, no breasts, small and elusive eyes …), not present.
– Feels like nothing, less than nothing, would go back where he came from
– Dresses in dull colors so he is not noticed
-Leaves easily when something is not up to his taste
– Feels rejected at the slightest criticism while attracting situations where this is happening
-Creates a world of his own; as a child, we easily create an imaginary world; adult, we leak in alcohol and / or drugs
-Finds it difficult to live in this planet, to let his inner child to live, in front of his first name, to see his wound and to see that he rejects the others
-He thinks he’s misunderstood.
Example: an anorexic person is in the rejection wound. She is always too big and for her, the material world is not important.
-Has a weak voice
-Doesn’t like to dance, and making him move little, he seems like he is saying, “Do not look at me”
-Hides his feet under the table while sitting, doesn’t stay connected to the ground
Our ego makes us believe that we care about ourselves and others so as not to feel the different rejections.
Despite this greater need for him, the being:
– Does everything to go unnoticed; too much in his fears, believes that he is not worth it
–Hardly makes his demands because he believes that when he is told no
-Afraid to disturb others and asks little.
The person feeds his wound every time she calls herself a no-body, no-good, and runs away from a situation.
Wound of INJUSTICE
We didn’t receive much appreciation, and our rights and merits weren’t respected
The child lived with this wound between the age of 3 to 5, because nobody helped him to integrate his individuality, his I AM, in front of cold hearted parents, not affectionate and rather demanding. He didn’t learn how to feel with his parents, the performance was more important than feeling good. Thus it was pretty much Impossible for the child to be himself.
Mask : Rigidity
Well proportionate even with a weight surplus, very straight, shoulders back, rigid movements. The eyes are bright; the jaw is tight and rarely open. Veins in the neck. Arms often crossed so he won’t feel anything. He wears black clothes that are tight at the waist.
Being in search of perfection
-did not learn how to feel
-is very hard on himself and on his body, because he always wants to perform
-bruised but doesn’t how it occurred
-will only see the doctor if it’s going very badly, and feels proud when doesn’t visit him
– controls himself, is able to follow a diet for a long time, controls his speech
-afraid to be wrong
– laughed to hide his sensitivity
– has difficulty in seeking help, in delegating because he is looking for perfection in having and doing it
– doesn’t accept critics
– Often lives with deception when it is not right, emotion often experienced by the rigid.
Fear: The coldness
-does not realize that he himself is perceived as cold. The rigid, interfering with a person, ensures that what is said is right, while the controlling wants to have the last word on the situation
-is envious, judging that everyone must have the same to make it fair
-has difficulty receiving (especially receiving more than others because it is not fair)
-doubt of his choices, wants to be sure of the right choice
-loves to look sexy
-doesn’t admit that he is living problems
-has a dry, stiff voice
-is abrupt in his words and angry
-finds it difficult to accept his injustice
-dances very well, he is careful not to make a mistake, take dance classes easily
-sits straight, can stiff his legs the one against the other
-likes the salty stuff over the sweet ones
-likes to say that he is right, that his life is without problems
-likes to believe that he has a lot of friends that likes him who he is
The person feeds his needs by being too demanding, by not respecting his limits, which makes him live in a lot of stress. Criticizing himself, having trouble having f u n, having difficulty seeing what he has done well.
Acting with coldness, cut off from his senses and now people at a distance, the person is too much in doing it to be perfect.
When she makes her demands, it is too briefly or has a lot of details in it; is afraid of being indebted, and remains convinced that doing it herself will be best.
We broke a promise that we made him, we stopped being faithful to his cause or to himself
This injury occurs between the age of 2 and 4, when the sexual energy develops, and creates a strong Oedipus complex, a very strong attachment to the parent of the opposite sex, a tendency to compare the mate with this parent; leads to the fact that we do not let go for fear of being fooled when we are in a sexual act. These were seductive, self-centered parents who manipulated him with compliments. The child felt that if he was very special, his parent of the opposite sex would be happy. He has acquired a sense of responsibility, and judges others who are not responsible enough.
Mask: the CONTROL
Wide hips and good buttocks for women, a lot of strength in the body. For men, shoulders wide, small size, no buttocks, convex chest, it’s like he is saying, “I have control of the situation.” Very physical, look at me! Mister big biceps, short T-shirt to show his muscles.
-is very seductive
-has the ability, through his intense eyes, to give the impression that we are the only person who is important for him, while he cannot tolerate being seduced
-sees everything quickly
-is skeptical and always on guard, to not to be seduced
-is very manipulative, because he was manipulated himself when he was young, which gave him this wound
-has difficulties in making a choice, especially if he risks losing control of the situation
-like to take up space and be noticed for his strength
– wants to control the situation; we can give him responsibilities, he understands fairly quickly
-a lot of talent but not a lot of patience with those who are slow
– wants to do it in his own way because he has the impression that he is being manipulated if he is opposed to
– If we want to do something to a person who is usually the controlling kind he must have the impression that he is the one in command; if given an order, he will not have the taste to execute it
-doesn’t like it when we interfere with his business but likes interfering with other people’s businesses, for example to have the last word, not seeing that he does; but seeing others do it, he is on his guard for fear of being fooled
-does not trust people easily
-Does not show its vulnerability
-is convinced to be right and tries to convince the other
-finds it difficult to see people not being responsible, to not keep their commitments
– Afraid of dissociation, of separating
-afraid to be seen as an irresponsible person
-Do not like being caught by surprise
– afraid of commitment and disengagement
-lying to him is like betrayal
-then to say yes but then acting without caring of what he have been told
– always has a good excuse because he does not want to see that he does not keep his commitments
– wants to know everything, wants to control others
-detest that we do not trust him
-does not admit laziness especially to the opposite sex
– make sure that everyone knows everything he did, how he did it and how much he did
– Easy mood swings
– finds it difficult having authori ty
-eats quickly, because has no time to waste, adds salt and spices.
Fear: DROPPING THE BALL (Le LÂCHER PRISE)
The being must above all learn the concept of dropping the ball:
– takes a lot of space when he dances and takes the opportunity to seduce; looks like he is saying, “Look at me”
– Sits down and bends his body back with his arms folded when he listens; –
– leans forward when he speaks to convince better.
The ego is convinced that he never lies, that he always keeps his word and that no one scares him.
Need: The confidence
The person feeds his need by not fulfilling his commitments, by lying to himself, by not delegating for lack of confidence. While he does not trust, he does not meet his needs as he looks for power on the outside. He is too much in the look. The person has a lot of expectations about his requests, but does not make clear requests. He requires, threats, controls; jumps to conclusions, believes the other understood him.
Wound of HUMILIATION
We have been belittled, degraded, vexed; we felt ashamed
Between the age of 1yo and 3yo, when you learn to be physically independent in the development of body functions: eat alone, go to the toilet, be clean at night … The child felt humiliated because he was not clean enough, the mother or caregiver controlled the child too much resulting him to not feel and he couldn’t do things to his liking. For example getting dirty while eating in front of guests or at the restaurant, or every time he feels that his parents are ashamed of him.
Bigger than normal, round parts in the body, a good back with a lot of support, big round, open eyes.
– punishes, hurts himself before others do it
-Soils while eating
-wears tight clothes that tears
-searching to be a good person, doing a lot for others, good for others, like dressing, cleaning … but doesn’t do the same stuff to himself: do not want to disturb
-is often in the “too much”: too much work, too much help, too much material. With the fear that if it’s not enough, it’s shameful
– afraid to lose his freedom because he was stripped out of his freedom when he was young
-tends not to be free yet wants to help everyone
-Do not like going fast
-is sensual and fusional
-he acts like a sponge to someone in misery
-compensates and rewards himself with food, preferably with high-fat foods
-Loves to dance and takes the opportunity to express his sensuality, dances for the pleasure of dancing.
The humiliation injury is the most difficult to see. The person punishes himself a lot and thinks he is punishing others and attracts people and humiliating situations for himself. For example he doesn’t like his weight and attracts a partner who flirts with others.
-is afraid when seen doing stuff out of his normal self (food, drink, sexuality, etc.)
– afraid to eat a lot in front of others
– afraid to be judged by his appearance
– afraid to be humbled, humiliated (blush, shame)
– afraid to hurt the other
– afraid to be seen as selfish, heartless, even if he is just doing what he needs
-afraid to be unworthy of his family or his employer and especially of God.
-feels caught between two people or two situations
-feels overwhelmed, has very little time for him
-feels destabilized when people are suffering atound him
-feels ashmed of his physical appeatance
– feels guilty for having f u n
Being in need of freedom:
-taking too much on his shoulders, finding himself in the service of others. In doing so, he shuts his needs because he fears to go out of the his normal needs
– sits, legs apart, and chooses a chair or chair too small, uncomfortable
-convinces himself that everything he does to others makes him very happy and that he is listening to his needs by doing so
-excellent at saying that everything is good, and to find excuses to those who humiliated him
-hardly asks others because he believes that he will get more than the others
– wants others to guess what he wants as he does for others
The being feeds his need each time he lowers himself, diminishes himself by comparing to thers, accuses himself of being too fat, without will, he is dirty, wears too small clothes, carries others and doesn’t make way for some time to himself.
Four steps that leads us to the expression of our wounds
1. First step
We come to the world, we are ourselves.
2. Second step
We live pain because we cannot be ourselves at different ages and in different areas.
3. Third step
We have crises; we suffer from not being ourselves.
4. Fourth step
We resign ourselves; we end up being what others expect us to be so we can be loved.
Four steps that leads us to the expression of our wounds
1. First step
Awareness of our masks.
2. Second step
Depending on our openness, more or less great resistance, revolt during this awareness.
3. Third step
Give yourself the right to have suffered and to have wanted one of your parents. Compassion and let go.
4. Fourth stage
Accepting yourself and the experiences that the one had in his life. Observation. Self love. HEALING.
To fix its wounds: ACCEPT
To give yourself the right to be human is to give yourself love. Since we do not have the memory of what happened when we were little or before we were born, we will be accusing one of our parents with whom we experienced this wound first. Some people do not want to accuse their parents, they prefer to accuse others people. For example, not wanting to see her injury with the father, you treat her husband or son as irresponsible; something remains to be settled with the father.
ACCEPT that something did actually hurt us. No transformation without acceptance. ACCEPT that what we accuse others of doing, we are like basically doing the same stuff to them. Give yourself the right to be like this even if you do not agree.
We always react according to our wounds
Take the example of a couple who are having an argument
Abandonment – The Dependent will say, in fear of being abandoned:
“He / she will leave me, has enough of me”.
Rejection – The Escaping will say:
“He / she rejects me, I am no longer important, he / she does not love me anymore”.
Injustice – The Rigid will say:
“It’s unfair, I do not deserve it, I will not do a thing like that to him.”
Treason – The Controllers will say:
“He / she does not understand anything, he / she acts like a baby”.
Humiliation – The Masochist will say:
” What did I do ? He / she is surely ashamed of me “.
Recognizing the injury in yourself and among others
When we are in our wounds, we are no longer objective. And we can hurt others.
Adopt a new behavior
- For the Dependent
Check if the other really wants to give us up.
- For the Escaping
Check if you are rejected, instead of running away. To value yourself more.
- For the Rigid
Check with the other if he intended to be unfair to you. To learn to feel, while walking in the nature, to breathe, focus on the smell of the earth, of the woods. Listen to music.
- For the Controller
Check if there was a promise, and commitment, before accusing the other of not holding them. Trust more, do not jump to conclusions. Learn to lead without control.
- For the Masochist
Check if we wanted to humiliate ourselves, if what we said or done is really shameful. Stop wanting to take everything on our shoulders at the expense of our needs, get help from others. Being alerted if we assume things that do not belong to us. Pardon the concerned parent. If we are sure that a certain person is a source of our misery, we can surely grant to ourselves the chance of accusing him. It was painful and it is perfectly normal . We can not solve anything until we admit that we could blame this person.
We may feel sorry for accusing him, and him forgiving us for judging him.
The wound we had with one of his parents, he himself lived before us with one of his own parents. And so on.
Granting forgiveness to the concerned parent helps stop the karma wheel.
Healing begins in all three bodies.
Then our spiritual being can emerge and live what he has to live.
Do a retrospective
In the evening, note the incidents of the day that made you live some emotions.
When you are aware that something is touching your wound, do not blame the other. But do not blame yourself either.
Observe what you are blaming people for, you may have done the same thing in the past.
Make the link
To change your attitude, make the connection between the incident and the wound.
Get in touch with fear
This is the fear we have for ourselves, the one connected to the wound.
Take the necessary time
In order for your wounds to heal little by little and become less sensitive, take time.
And to do this, try to laugh!
Know that it takes a considerable effort and can take several years. There is a short therapy of 3 weeks which also requires an effort on behalf of the patient, but which is much faster.
This is the 3rd package offered to learn more click here!
Can we avoid injuries to our children?
Knowledge of wounds and their consequences can help us to allow the child to take less time to heal. It is a question of allowing him to reveal himself, and to give him his responsibility, doing it for him and not to make us feel better.
In the process of healing when one feels good even alone, that life is less dramatic, that one goes to the end of his projects even if the others do not support us.
Captures the attention of others, possesses artistic talents, can help others without getting into their problems.
In the process of healing when we take more and more space, we dare to assert ourselves and we live fewer situations where we are afraid of experiencing panic.
Resourcefulness, ability to take a lot, create, invent, imagine, good endurance at work, efficiency, great attention to detail.
In the process of healing when one allows oneself to make mistakes without experiencing anger, to cry in front of others without fear of their judgment.
Faced with difficult situations, enthusiastic, dynamic, orderly, with a great capacity for work. Knows what we should know at the right time, ability to simplify to explain, teach,
In the process of healing when we let go, we do not try to be the center of attraction and we are proud of ourselves even if others do not recognize it.
Qualities of leader, reassuring and protective, has a talent for public speaking, sociability. Helps others to value themselves, can handle many things at once, makes decisions quickly.
In the process of healing when we take the time to check our needs before saying yes to others, we are able to make requests without feeling disturbing, we feel more free stopping to create limits.
Bold, adventurer, good mediator, helpful, altruistic, knows how to have fun, organizational talent.